Coping with Manipulation by Windy Dryden

Author:Windy Dryden
Format: epub
Publisher: SPCK

1 You take the theme of your general irrational belief.

Conflict from the general irrational belief: ‘I must not have conflict with someone I care for, and if I did I couldn’t bear it.’

2 You construct a second general irrational belief that features uncertainty about the original threat theme.

‘I must be certain that I won’t get into conflict. I can’t bear such uncertainty.’

3 You bring this second general irrational belief to situations where it is possible that you may, for example, get into conflict with people close to you, and you make (in John’s case) a threat-related inference in the absence of certainty from the threat.

‘Since I don’t have certainty that I won’t get into conflict with others, then I will get into conflict with them.’

4 You focus on this inference and bring a specific version of your original general irrational belief to this inference. For example:

Inference: ‘I will get into conflict with my cousin.’

Specific irrational belief: ‘I must not have conflict with my cousin and I could not bear it if I did.’

How to deal with overestimating the presence of your theme

In order to deal with overestimating the presence of your theme you need to take a number of steps, which I will illustrate again with reference to John.

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